Momentum

Here's a draft I saved several months back. I didn't know whether to post it or not.

We just hired a new minister. At the same time we reorganized a lethargic group of deacons. We met together as deacons and thought about how the work of the congregation should be organized. Then each deacon picked the area he most wanted to serve in. What was interesting is that we came up with 6 major areas of work - Benevolence, Family, Worship, Jail, Education, and Youth. Even though I threatened them with their life if they chose to work in an area that they weren't crazy about, I still noticed that because the selection was limited, some agreed to work in areas that needed a worker but that they weren't thrilled about. One area, benevolence (poor people who want hand-outs, elderly, etc.), no one, including me, wanted.

We came out of those meetings feeling like we were moving in a positive direction (the congregation has been declining in number and morale for some time now). Now, however, the momentum wanes. A general sense of tiredness and burden seems to pervade. Every so often someone will beat us up about how we're not working enough. I'm tired of that!

So, what about momentum? How can we really expect to keep momentum when people are trying to force themselves to do things that they feel duty or obligation to do, but don't want to do?

Kinda of reminds me of a discussion I was a part of several years ago. A friend was telling us about this really strict low-cal, low-fat diet he was on and it was working! Another friend spoke up and said, "So, what you're telling us is that you aren't planning for long-term success." Ouch! But true. We haven't and I predict won't keep up the program of work we've come up with.

Tough Week

Last week was a tough week. We had a board of directors meeting Saturday. It turned out well, but I always dread those things. I've been in on some pretty tough ones. Since my basic responsibility is financial, I'm always in the middle of any difficult parts of the meeting because everyone wants to know about the money. I am thankful to God that it went smoothly.

Friday night, Jeff and I went to hear Joel perform at Strange Brew in Starkville. He did great! I wish I had taken pics to post on the blog. The latte was good and so was the Swiss Mushroom burger from Hardees. Yum-Yum! Joel inspires me, always has. Somehow I've got to find a way for my music. I miss it so much.

I preached today near my home. I'm ready to give up on preaching, at least in the way I've always known it. It seems like such a futile exercise, even as if I'm just doing because we have to have someone to preach. That seems to be the way the people hear it, too. We have to have a sermon so that we can feel good about being here. I roll in for one day, don't know anything about the people or their lives, and I preach some sermons I've done at 5 other places. The audience just sits there or falls asleep or looks at their watches. I don't feel that I can talk about what I really want to because it would take to long to set it up. I guess I feel a deep disconnect.

I don't enjoy traveling around to preach any more. I want to work with a group of people and present thoughts and messages and have dialogue with them as we journey together. I'm not a public speaker or after-dinner speaker, nor am I an entertainer. In my heart, I'm a shepherd.

One of the things I struggle with is the feedback from the audience. I don't understand why they don't get excited about the text and message I present. Sometimes I don't feel like they even understand Jesus like I do. I don't feel like they're in love with him like I am. That's frustrating. I want to give up because it seems vain.

Anyway, time for bed...