John 13
I liked Gary's post about John 13. What would it look like for me?
Why can't I be like everyone else and just sit in my seat without having to organize worship, lead worship, run the sound, teach two classes each week, preach, lead prayer, serve communion, lead VBS, and organize the children's classes? What am I trying to prove?
Honestly, that I'm useful, that I matter. It would be devastating for me to drift into the background and do nothing. I'd feel so useless. I've lost my heart in all this trying to prove my usefulness. Most of what I do I do for others not because I have the passionate desire to do them.
I think I'm also trying to prove that I care. I've heard so much harping on service and being active that I think I'd feel guilty if I wasn't. What if I just came and sat there? I'd feel like I was letting God down, like I was unfaithful, like I wasn't really being a true Christian.
Not to mention the pressure I felt recently. A group at church meets regularly to eat and organize service projects. They have invited us several times to be a part of it. I think it's a good thing, but I'm already involved in several things that the church does. So, we only visited once and don't plan to go back. It's funny, but I feel like the group is looking down on us for not attending. I bring this up to say that there's a lot of pressure from the congregation here to prove your usefulness by being involved in everything. That's a temptation for a guy like me.
Because of all this, I walk around in a haze most of the time, mindlessly moving from one task to the next. I've been trying to envision a different way. There are people who are visiting that my heart goes out to, people I want to help. But because I'm trying to prove so much, I don't have time to spend with them. I've actually been wanting to resign from all my responsibilities so that I can respond freely to people that I feel need help. I want to create margin so that I can respond when I see a need.
Thinking about that...I think that was part of the problem with the priest and Levite in the Good Samaritan. No time, no space, no margin to respond to need.
Why can't I be like everyone else and just sit in my seat without having to organize worship, lead worship, run the sound, teach two classes each week, preach, lead prayer, serve communion, lead VBS, and organize the children's classes? What am I trying to prove?
Honestly, that I'm useful, that I matter. It would be devastating for me to drift into the background and do nothing. I'd feel so useless. I've lost my heart in all this trying to prove my usefulness. Most of what I do I do for others not because I have the passionate desire to do them.
I think I'm also trying to prove that I care. I've heard so much harping on service and being active that I think I'd feel guilty if I wasn't. What if I just came and sat there? I'd feel like I was letting God down, like I was unfaithful, like I wasn't really being a true Christian.
Not to mention the pressure I felt recently. A group at church meets regularly to eat and organize service projects. They have invited us several times to be a part of it. I think it's a good thing, but I'm already involved in several things that the church does. So, we only visited once and don't plan to go back. It's funny, but I feel like the group is looking down on us for not attending. I bring this up to say that there's a lot of pressure from the congregation here to prove your usefulness by being involved in everything. That's a temptation for a guy like me.
Because of all this, I walk around in a haze most of the time, mindlessly moving from one task to the next. I've been trying to envision a different way. There are people who are visiting that my heart goes out to, people I want to help. But because I'm trying to prove so much, I don't have time to spend with them. I've actually been wanting to resign from all my responsibilities so that I can respond freely to people that I feel need help. I want to create margin so that I can respond when I see a need.
Thinking about that...I think that was part of the problem with the priest and Levite in the Good Samaritan. No time, no space, no margin to respond to need.
posted by allencoker at
7:58 PM
2 Comments:
I hope Billy will agree to come. I haven't heard anything back from him. It would be great for all of us to be together again!
By
allencoker, at 7:28 PM
You need to operate in your giftedness (probably a word made up by Andy Stanley or Bill Hybels) and apply your hands and you heart to the place of greatest need (strategic service...definitely from Andy). I was having coffee(well it wasnt exactly coffee, but I think some trace of it was in that frozen treat) with a guy that works with the Northpoint plant in Birmingham and he said there is a dark side to all of the gifts. You are feeling the dark side of your gift of mercy. I know you know this...but let me be a good reminder...Dont let them take advantage of your gift of mercy. You definitely need to drop some of the stuff you are doing at church if you are really doing all of that stuff you say you are doing. Say NO. Set boundaries. But in all of this, please dont go the opposite way and not spend any time at all doing what God has given you the giftedness to do...and I still have that Rob Bell tic if you want to go.
By
Garrett, at 1:20 AM
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